Lies My UC President Told Me

Things I’ve been called recently… December 18, 2009

…from inside the “movement.”

• activist-manager
• reformist
• self-proclaimed activist
• liberal
• pacifist
• Bullwinkle

Only two of these are correct (or maybe 2.5).  Any guesses?

Where is Birgenau? December 18, 2009

It’s now been a week since a torch-wielding mob forced Baron von Birgenau to flee the Berkeley Palace.  The Baron has yet to publicly resurface.  Where is he hiding?  When will he return to the Court?  Is he sleeping in Yudof’s poolhouse?  And what are we to make of a recent rash of livestock disappearances in the Central Valley?

Send any potential sightings to me.

Good News: Another Small Victory December 18, 2009

From a source within UCSC’s AFSCME union (representing custodians, dining hall workers, groundskeepers, etc.):

We were able to stop the reduction in hours for our custodians from January on.  They were originally noticed that it would be a 15% cut for four months to total the 11 furlough days for $40k or less.  We’ve been able to stop it two months early.  We were able to achieve this because there were so many other problems stemming from the reductions and bad management in the department that upper management agreed with us that it was not feasible to get the work done correctly with the reductions in place.

What does this tell us?  I think this tells us (at least) three things:

1. The UCSC Administration DOES have flexibility around the furloughs for staff members.
2. Sustained pressure on the UCSC Administration does work (and AFSCME has been working hard at this).
3. Demands to reduce staff furloughs should make the case that there is no way for the necessary work to get done with the proposed staff reductions.

Nice work, AFSCME.  We’re with you.

Terrorists set free! Whither the Republic? December 17, 2009

UC Davis Professor Bob Ostertag points out the absurdity of Governor Schwarzenegger’s use of the word “terrorism” to describe the rally outside Baron von Birgenau’s palace:

[My students], and the others were charged with rioting, threatening an education official, attempted burglary, attempted arson of an occupied building, felony vandalism, and assault with a deadly weapon on a police officer. Bail was set at $132,000 per student.

Then yesterday all charges against the students were dropped. Oops. Never mind.

Where the police saw multiple felonies, the chancellor saw a threat to his life, and the governor saw terrorism, the district attorney saw no case. This leaves Birgeneau, Yudof, and Schwarzenegger with some serious explaining to do. Particularly Mr. Schwarzenegger.

Read Ostertag’s full essay here.

Schwarzenegger’s Tan Denounces Protests December 15, 2009

Governor S poses with an unidentified dwarf.

Even after forty years in our country, California’s governor (the world’s highest paid Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonator) must still have some trouble with the English language.  His Honorable Orangeness went on record Sunday about the ousting of Baron von Birgenau from Berkeley Castle.  According to Mr. Maria Shriver, “California will not tolerate any type of terrorism against any leaders, including educators.”  Terrorism?  Really?

Granted, this word has become something of a floating signifier recently–meaning pretty much anything that the speaker chooses to condemn.  But Arnold’s use is a new low: what does it mean to call students “terrorists”?–especially when all they are demanding is that the State of California keep its promise of accessible education.

Actually, I’m almost more upset about the use of the word “leaders” in Schwarzenegger’s quote.  Don’t flatter yourself, Arnold: you and Baron von Birgenau are only leaders in much the same way that Than Shwe is a leader.  We’re coming for YOU next.

Torch-wielding villagers storm the castle. December 13, 2009

And what of The Creature?

UC Berkeley Chancellor Robert Von Birgenau has fled campus after a mob of torch-wielding villagers surrounded his palatial estate, demanding an end to his unholy depredations in the surrounding countryside.  But can Von Birgenau’s infernal marriage of science and sorcery be so easily defeated?  Now is not the time to rest easy.